


Almost Automatic

by nick_i_kenicki



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: AU, Family, big sad tho, i havent written in forever, idk i dont know what im doing, kind of
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-16
Updated: 2019-03-13
Packaged: 2019-06-11 13:13:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,658
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15316251
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nick_i_kenicki/pseuds/nick_i_kenicki
Summary: Cole was only six years old and the love between he and Connor was automatic. Well almost. After Hank died in a car crash it was hard to say what Connor truly felt anymore at all. He turned off his ability to feel like a switch and could only mimic care without someone there to show him.





	1. 1

**Author's Note:**

> I know my summary is vague af but please just bear with me. I love D:BH and this is basically if the car crash didn't take place till after canon.

Six. Cole was only six years old, older than the entire line of Connor models by years but still just a baby as far as humans were concerned. He was fragile and smaller than any make of android child ever was. Hands barely the size of Connor's palm, cheeks all red from the heat and slack lips with a little dab of drool in the corner. Connor checked his strength configuration once, then twice to make sure it was as light as a feather before using his thumb to wipe Cole's lip like he had seen Hank do so many times before.

While Cole didn't stir from the touch, it was obvious that he was very much alive. He was warm and as unpredictable as a firecracker even in his sleep. Curling, snoring, shifting and mumbling. One minute he was crying out for his father and the next laughing about whatever wild dream came. It was a gamble when it came to humans so almost every time Connor held Cole, it sparked him to contemplate his own mortality, or lack thereof he supposed. Over time Connor had grown to know happiness and discovered frustration, but like a magnet propelled away from its opposite, sadness had taken him a long time to conceptualize. It was something Cole was automatically given and understood from the moment he was born but only grazed the surface. He knew sadness well and taught Connor about sadness everyday in unnoticeable little ways. 

The sadness of a six year child was a short burst of emotion rather than the prolonged despair Connor had learned it as. It came in lieu of frustrating math problems or overwhelming movies. Like Cole himself, the things that sparked his tears were unpredictable. Unpredictable but nevertheless a constant amongst everything else in their bubbled lives. Looking back, if Connor believed in karma, he would have blamed himself for becoming too complacent in the safety of a young child's sadness.

The day he truly experienced despair was on a still January evening. It was such a quiet night. Too quiet for an accident. Connor had learned about accidents by watching clips of loud screeching halts and blaring ambulance sirens. He assumed they would rush him in the scene and demand his relationship to the victims like the movies he had studied. The sounds and sights his programming provided felt accurate. He was prepared to remain calm as he explained that he wasn't Connor from Cyberlife, but simply Connor Anderson despite how strange it felt, like a game everyone was just playing along with. While the revolution felt like a distant memory, obtaining Hank's last name with his liberation felt fresh.

The bus ride up to the scene was short since it happened in front of a well-known park only a few blocks from their home. The snow obscured the window view and blended into the winter night making the entire world look monochrome. As soon as the car pulled into the icy parking lot, Connor emerged to see an unexpected crowd.The playground that they had taken Cole to so many times before looked foreign and sterile with the lack of children there. While there were many police, none of them moved to explain anything when they spotted him. Connor approached the crowd and announced his name. The snow was so thick and wet that each flake hit the ground with a consistency reminiscent of heavy rain. It was the only sound Connor could remember accurately from that day. The workers on scene remained silent and only looked between each other.

It struck Connor why things were so silent in an instance. The snow shined red and white from the soundless ambulance light and Connor realized that for the first time that he was feeling panic and that an explanation would become mercilessly clear as soon as he saw Hank. Connor stopped waiting and crossed over the police tape without thinking only to be apprehended by a solemn officer. The man looked like he wanted to say something but only sighed. He looked Connor up and down then led him to the silent ambulance closest to them

Hank was in a stretcher, dazed like he was struggling to stay awake during a late night at work. His eyes shifted around the room, dull until he saw Connor’s face. While he did seem to perk up, he didn't go to sit up or move at all. Connor felt his LED flash and whir in confusion before pain so deep that it felt physical struck him. The damage below Hank’s waist was so irreversibly bad that it was a mystery he was even still conscious. Connor ran diagnostic after diagnostic in a split second hoping to find an answer but soon realized with a speeding pump that there was no solution. Nothing. That was why the ambulance didn't even attempt the hospital trip. 

It was too late.

He kneeled down next to the stretcher and Hank tried to reach for Connor’s hand to no avail. Connor reached down instead and felt something swell in his chest that he couldn't quite identify. It was suffocating.It was a long time before either of them spoke. “Listen Connor”, Hank spoke in a voice that wasn't his own. Dreamy and faraway. “You're family. Make sure Cole is okay. I love you both.” Connor could barely contain his almost automatic tears, and the image of Cole didn't help. Hank saw Connor crying through his own dazed confusion and found it in himself to make a sound close to a chuckle before his hand went slack. 

Connor held Hank’s hand for a long time, heaving over him in a way he didn't know androids were even capable of before an officer begged him to stop. It was like Hank was taken away with the wild flurries. In one moment he was there and the next he was gone, a gust of snow slipping through Connor's fingers. He thought there were pieces of Hanks being he could hold onto, but they melted away like they were never there to begin with. Where had he gone so fast? Why couldn't Connor hold him anymore? How could death have the nerve to be so final for humans?

“Listen sir”, a tired officer tried. He was older but wildly empathetic as even he looked close to tears. “Lieutenant Anderson's son is in the other car.” Connor tore his gaze away from Hank's body. While Connor didn’t know much, he knew that he was broken. He had to be to feel so bad. “He'll need medical attention for a break but for the most part he's unscathed” The officer cleared his throat to avoid Connor's searching gaze. “Because the recent passing of the Kara Law and your official status as a legal member of the Anderson family, you will be granted temporary custody of Cole until a judge decides if you can adopt him.” Somehow the word adoption made Connor lose any sense he may have been holding onto prior.

Connor waved off all the alarms and popups that flashed in his blurry vision. They were all looking to solve when all he needed to do was think. He couldn't raise a child. He couldn't live without Hank. He wasn't even sure if he could properly stand up after everything. Connor shifted away from the stretcher and cast one last sideling look at the dead man who just happened to have Hank's face. It was so hard trying to move. It felt like pounds of metal were weighing his internal systems down. Nothing felt real but somehow everything was. Connor felt his head spinning and pump speeding. He was too overwhelmed and a sudden decision popped up behind his eyelids.

Slowly, Connor reached up to his LED and dialed down his ability to feel. It felt like letting out the air in a balloon that was about to deflate. The pain and sadness still there, but ebbing toward the edge of his mind rather than in the forefront. Everything began to steady and Connor was able to straighten, stand and leave the vehicle. He didn’t look back at Hank though. Seeing him laid out like that would break through any sense of composure he had mustered. Having his emotions hanging on the verge of bursting felt wrong somehow, but if Connor wanted to handle things, he’d have to wait to process everything.

“Please take me to Cole”, he demanded while ignoring the weight on his chest.


	2. 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tbh everbodys clothes mean something and the main android squad is so Good.

There was a black jumpsuit in the back of the closet that was a bit too baggy and straight legged. It had pencil straps and a frilly collar, formal in its fit like it was meant for a wedding. While it was barely suited for a child and somewhat socially inappropriate for a little boy no less, Connor found he didn't care about impressions when Cole begged to wear it. He was sure his father had bought it for him and Connor didn't have the heart to tell him a coworker bought it thinking Hank had a daughter. Connor didn't have the heart to tell Cole much of anything anymore. He preferred to just let the child talk and process the information as it came. There was a strange sensation in reducing life to numbers. What Connor couldn't make out of the numbers, he tried to remember. He remembered the feeling of emptiness and supposed it was what he was feeling currently.

He took the outfit off of the hanger and set it down on the bed while helping Cole undress. All of his clothes were a perfect fit. Hank bought new outfits everytime Cole had a growth spurt. He was such a brusque man that it took Connor by surprise when they went shopping together for the first time. They went to a thrift store near home, so Hank brought along a wallet full of coupons and let Cole pick out what he wanted. For the amount of unbranded shirts and shoes Cole picked out, Connor expected to pay at least 80 dollars. However before he could sync his LED to the cashier to pay, Hank calculated every discount on his phone and deduced they would only pay 10 dollars. The cashier double checked the coupons and confirmed the lower price sending Hank into instant pride. Connor could remember how big his smile was and felt the sense of accomplishment bubble in his own chest. It was the first time he had really learned to take pride in the mundane feats of daily life. They celebrated by using the money they would have spent to buy ice cream. Connor ignored the urge to rationalize buying things with money saved and enjoyed breaking down the flavor components of the saccharine vanilla instead.

“Button the back", Cole piped up in a little voice, breaking Connor from his haze. Connor did as he was told and left any thoughts of accessibility and practicality of the outfit on the backburner. “How do I look?”Cole asked with a little spin that almost sent him sailing over the long legs. If Connor had Hank with him he would have made a comment on how Cole looked like he was playing dress up in something so ill fitting or how they would just buy him something like that in his size, but the words felt superficial and were better left unsaid. Cole deadpanned at Connor's silence. “You don't like it?” There were so many possible options to ruin he and Cole's relationship when he wasn't feeling emotion that Connor could barely decide which answer was worse. He paused and scanned Cole's expression for minute changes as he answered, “You look very nice and your Dad always loved it when you expressed yourself.” The answer didn't seem like what Cole wanted to hear but all Connor could do was continue.

“What should I wear then?” He asked Cole, hoping engagement would lift the child's mood. Cole looked Connor over and made a face at his android uniform. He perched up on the bed to see what clothes they had better and said,”Maybe you should wear something of Daddy's so he can see you at the funeral. He likes it when you wear normal stuff.” The way Cole spoke about Hank like he was still alive struck hard. It was like they were just going to visit Hank at somebody else's funeral, that he had just gone early and they would touch bases before the ceremony. The thought, or rather wish was so hard to shake that Connor was sure he felt some emotion. Anticipation. Hope that it was all just a bad dream. No. He shook his head and dove into looking for his own outfit.

After a long time of rummaging through closets and drawers that hadn't been opened in ages, the pair settled on a black button down and worn black slacks. The clothes were slim, most likely a product of Hank's first few years on the force but long as he was a head taller than Connor even back then. Wearing the clothes he wore felt intimate and painfully alive with his essence. It was almost like a hug, being engulfed in his smell. Connor caught himself melting into the silk.T  
He decided there had to have been a malfunction in his software because he wasn't supposed to be feeling. He shouldn't have even been feeling that brief moment of comfort. 

“The car is here", Cole called from the window. Connor approached from behind and saw the car they would be taking to say goodbye. He couldn't help the chills that raced along his body. “Let's go", Connor said, trying hard to keep his voice steady. He took Cole's hand and they walked outside to greet Markus who was waiting by the car. He had decided to drive for them after asking around to pull strings the last few days. It was like he could feel the shift in Connor and wanted to be close enough to really confirm. Confirm that he had basically denounced being a deviant. While it was unthinkable, in the little part of his emotional mind that he couldn't quite shut off, Connor felt like he was betraying Markus. The logical part of his mind however, for all its faults, assured him that Markus would never hate him. He wasn't capable of it.

“Hello there Cole. Your outfit is very nice", Markus commented as soon as they reached the car. Cole pulled a serious face and thanked him. It was a hard task getting Cole to believe that Markus was not, in fact, the president of Detroit just because he was on TV so often. Markus switched his attention. “You look nice too Connor. Are you ready for this?” Maybe he was searching for Connor to start fall out and start sobbing in a messy heap. His eyes looked so forgiving, full of a sympathy deeper than any human had offered. Many still believed they were just evoking those types of emotional reactions from watching humans. On the other hand, many hadn't met Markus. “I'm fine", he answered with a little more bite than he had intended. The corner of Markus’ mouth quirked. “I asked if you were fine.” Connor looked away lest those concerned eyes really did make him crack. “Can we please just go?”

The ride to the hall was short. Kara, Luther and Alice were already there waiting outside. Kara was wearing a simple black dress with thick straps that matched Luther's black suit. Alice stood between them wearing a dress similar to Cole's outfit but fitted properly.They looked like a proper family and Connor refused to let that hurt. They pulled up to a silent stop and Kara immediately hugged them. Alice was holding onto Luther's jacket and looking up at Connor with deeply contemplative eyes. She was so similar to Cole in the way neither of them could quite understand what happened yet. They viewed Connor like he was the reason everyone was sad, like he was somehow the reason for all the crying adults and Hank's disappearance. It was a hard look to accept. Kara stepped out of the hug and told Alice to show Cole around. She took his hand and ran off like she had her own conversation to have.

Kara looked him over and said in a soft voice, “How have you been taking things?”  
“Fine.”  
“And Cole?”  
“...Fine.”  
Kara and Markus pulled a face. Connor suddenly felt silly. He had been so focused on not feeling anything that he had completely neglected tending to what Cole could be feeling. He was a human child whose emotions were supposed to be a roller coaster on a good day. That Cole hadn't cried since he knew his father was dead was alarming. He was acting more robotic than Connor was.

Kara must have noticed where Connor's line of thinking took him because she put a hand on his shoulder and smiled. It was such a sad smile. “You should probably take a break from being numb and talk to Cole. He needs you as you Connor, not a program but a parent.” Markus stepped up to put a hand on Connor's other shoulder. “And soon before somebody else steps up to take your role.” His gaze flashed over to a car Connor didn't recognize pulling into the space next to them. The window was tinted and the plates weren't in the system. After a long wait, a woman with dark hair and an intricate black dress stepped out of the car. She was smoking a cigarette and looked around with unamused eyes. Connor didn't need to scan her face to know with instant certainty that she was Cole's mother.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter- messy funeral drama and like probs crying. Maybe ending?


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cole's mother and a very emorional funeral.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been awhile... oof. So yeah extra long chapter.

Cole's mother Charlotte was unlike anyone Connor had ever seen. She was more a caricature of what someone thought an evil mother looked like than an actual woman. She wore her dark hair up and away from her face in a messy crown held up with more bobby pins than Cole could count and sheer force of will. The makeup she wore was so dark that it pushed gaudy no matter the occasion, as if she wanted to hide any remnant of the doey eyed, freckle faced girl of her youth. Hank used to say that after the divorce she carried herself like a bad noir film heroine, a mysteriously gritty silhouette that always captured the perfect scent of burnt out cigars. In appearance alone, she wasn't one to be overlooked. However, for all her extremes, Connor could see what Hank had fallen for. He saw it everyday in little pieces of Cole.

 

Before, it was the little things, like the curve of his brow or the slope of his chin. He was so small and it was natural for him to take after his mother. As time went on, though, more and more features that couldn't have come from Hank became apparent. While most boys tended to look like their fathers, Cole was another story. He took his complexion from his mother, taking both her dark hair and eyes. His deep dimples were also identical to the ones Charlotte had in old pictures Even Cole's interests were similar to hers despite the lack of maternal influence she had on him. They were both obsessed with clothes along with all the glitz of stardom. Connor saw it especially in Cole when he tried to recite lines from TV shows at home. Hank would get misty and recall a time when Charlotte would get so wrapped up in learning lines that he almost remembered why he loved her. Almost.

 

It was almost impossible to see the glint of that starstruck girl as Charlotte approached though. She took a long drag of her cigarette and stared at Cole sitting with Alice in the grass outside of the church while she came up the walk. When she was close enough to speak, she didn't even offer a hello. She simply asked, “Which one is it?” Connor felt his LED flash red for a split moment. 

 

“What do you mean?” 

 

Charlotte took off her sunglasses and squinted at Connor's temple. She had such nice eyes, dark and unreadable. Cole's were a little lighter than hers, but the intensity was still there. “No need to get all feisty now Mr. Roboto, I'm talking about my son. I can't tell which one he is.” Connor paused before speaking, incredulous. “He's the one with shorter hair in-.”

 

“Ugh”, Charlotte interrupted with an annoyed huff. “This is why I can't talk to these things.” She spoke loud and slow as if she were talking to someone hard of hearing. She looked around, waiting for someone to validate her attitude.“I know which one is my son. It's a joke, see? Because he looks like the girl.” She looked back at the children with a bad expression. “Didn't Hank program you to cut his hair in an actual style? Or, I don't know, put him in real clothes? He looks like he's wearing pajamas.” 

 

Before Connor could defend that Cole didn't like haircuts, or stiff suits, Markus stepped between them with a steely look. “It's really not your place to judge seeing as you weren't there to enforce these ideals. So if you would please excuse yourself, that would be perfect.” Connor watched the space between them grow thick and awkward. They were all free, true, but Markus was the only one with the guts to speak up. It was like he took pride in exercising his right to stand up to humans. His aura was so authoritative that it was impossible to bend.

 

Charlotte looked taken aback but just shook her head. “I will excuse myself. I have to go talk to my son anyways. Maybe another human will get it.” With that, Charlotte flicked her cigarette butt in Markus’ direction and sauntered over to see Cole. Kara and Luther watched her then interfaced with Alice. Connor watched Alice run out of the field to Kara's side and into Luther's arms. He wished he could communicate with Cole as easily as they did Alice. They could tell her a whole concept in a single moment and clarify anything while Connor had to live with assumptions when it came to Cole. Even Markus with all his endless understanding couldn't live like that.

 

Connor turned his attention to the field where the children had been playing to see the reunion of mother and son. He scanned Cole's face as he saw his mother for the first time in almost a year. Charlotte paused and did the same, in a more vulnerably human way. His face was blank, then a quick expression of dull confusion flashed in his eyes until realization dawned on him. He was running and hugging her in an instant.

 

“Mommy!” 

 

The way Cole looked when he hugged Charlotte was painful. They were a perfect pair. Especially since it was the happiest Cole had looked since Hank died. Connor felt himself shrink away from reality.There was no way he was able to raise Cole, there was no way he was going to keep everything together, there was no way- Kara placed a hand on Connor's shoulder and whispered, “Don't worry. It always seems like they like everyone in the world besides you, but your children will always come back to you first. They don't go to half time parents for real support.” 

 

As if on cue, Cole ran past his mother and to Connor. He clung onto Connor's pant leg and looked up with wide eyes. “Mommy said I can sit with her during the service.” The expression on his face was too complex for Connor to decipher right away. It seemed like a lot for his little face. Maybe longing, maybe a hint of desperation. Connor looked back at Kara. Her LED whirred and a request to connect popped up in Connor's vision. He allowed her to connect as he took Cole's hands into his own. “You're allowed to say no”, Kara's voice echoed inside Connor's head. Cole watched him. “I can, can’t I?” Connor could feel Kara's eyes on his back as he feigned a little smile. “Of course you can sit with her.”

 

Kara disconnected and quietly pulled Alice to her side. They walked away without looking back and Cole was at his mother's side in an instant. He felt the pull of resentment deep in his chest. Kara and Luther had no idea what it was like. They were the perfect family. Connor let himself go deeper into his descent while he followed behind Cole and Charlotte. When they went inside the church he found something painfully familiar. Walking behind humans evoked such an old feeling, unwanted, like a burn. Suddenly he was a servant again. Always behind. When Hank was alive, they used to walk together. Side by side. 

 

As Connor made his way into the church behind everyone, a twittering little man grabbed his shoulder. “Ah, you're Connor right? I'm Father Paul. I'm so sorry for your loss.” Connor shrugged his hand off and went forward into the main hall while exchanging pleasantries. Father Paul was among the few humans that stayed behind in Detroit. His rationale was that androids believing in rA9 was the equivalent of God, and that it was his duty to lead the new Catholic reform. His mind was as ratty and old as the good book he carried with him, but Markus had recommended doing something traditional so Connor went along. 

 

“You don't have a bible on rA9 I need to read from, do you?” The old priest asked as he paged through his bible for a passage. They approached the front of the hall where the ceremony would take place and Connor suppressed the incredible need to roll his eyes as he answered that they didn't. Father Paul tried not to look too giddy. “Then the other androids won’t mind if I spread some of the good word?” Connor gave him a nonchalant wave. “You serve as the host more than anything else, if you choose to be religious then so be it. As long as it doesn't go overtime.”

 

Connor walked away from the podium and to the closed casket behind them. It was a deep silver with little engravings along the side. It was hard to tell if they were waves or wings, but they were very pretty either way. It didn't feel like Hank. None of it did. It felt like Hank would file in with the rest of the guests and make quiet comments with Cole in the back row. However, he was sealed away in a box. It was kind of like a Schrodinger’s Cat experience, implying that because Connor didn't see Hank dead in the casket, he was potentially still alive. 

 

There was a loud ding at the chimes and more guests started coming in. Greeters from the funeral home gave polite little hellos while both androids and humans Connor never met gave him their apologies. After the fourth or fifth meaningful stare, Connor retreated into his programming. Everything was gray and the weather didn't seem to fit a day for a funeral. It was a little warmer than he had predicted too. The guests looked uncomfortable. Hank would have probably complained about the lack of circulation afterwards. From the first pew, Charlotte looked like she was ready to too.

 

Once everyone was seated, the priest began his rehearsed speech about Hank. It was impersonal, a meager effort to summarize the life of an amazing man in the span of a few bible verses. The few human guests seemed to appreciate it but the androids barely registered the significance. After a long bout of apologetic religious jargon, the priest met eyes with Connor across the church. He sighed and closed his book. “I'll direct you to the slideshow now.” He had run two minutes over his allotted time.

 

Connor ignored his annoyance and watched the screen above the casket. Pictures of Hank throughout his life flashed. One where he was a new baby, maybe a year old. He was chubby and blond like a little cherub. His eyes were a lot like Cole's back then. Another of him in his childhood when he looked about ten or eleven years old. The mischievous little glint in his eye was just starting to shine through. A few more pictures flashed by that featured a family of sturdy young adults with Hank posted up in the middle flipping the camera off. Eventually it got to his first year of police academy and a few low quality pics of his wedding.

 

Charlotte shifted uncomfortably. Connor couldn't help but mirror the action. She was so sweet and Hank looked so happy back then. It also really called attention to how little time Connor actually spent with Hank. Their relationship was special, but they spent so little time together in the grand scheme of his life that Connor felt some insecurity poke through. Hank had lived a lifetime before Connor was even rendered. He focused back on the screen as another clip began to play.

 

As soon as the video started, Connor recognized it as Cole's birth from the perspective of Hank. It was a video he used to revisit often when Hank was alive. Every year on Cole's birthday, they would pop it on the tape player and just watch. For Connor, it was like being there back when he wasn't yet. He liked to imagine instead of being a string of code somewhere, that he was right behind Hank through the entire experience.

 

The shaky camera focused on Charlotte while she did her breathing exercises and zoomed in to the unmistakable spot on the floor where her water broke. The mic caught the tiny string of curses both of them let out as they loaded into the car toward the hospital. There were lapses in the footage from when Hank forgot the camera in the car, which later jump cut to the moment Cole arrived. The funeral audience watched the scene with glassy eyes. Charlotte looked down to her feet, like she still felt the pain.

 

The only sounds in the quiet hospital room sans calm instructions from the doctor and the steady beat of a heart monitor, was the sound of Hank praying. Connor never knew Hank as a religious man and he could hardly even tell who he was praying to. The voice he used was so desperate and honest that Connor barely recognized it as Hank's voice. Before he could finish the unintelligible mumble though, a sharp cry echoed throughout the room. Cole's scream was like a sudden amen. Charlotte started to cry as well.

 

Hank cut Cole's cord and turned the camera on himself when the nurse handed them their baby. While it wasn't long ago, Hank's clean shaven appearance made him look like a different person. Charlotte also had a raw, euphoric look on her face. Their son was nothing more than a scream attached to a bit of flesh at that point, but he was perfect. Connor could see it every time he watched the video. He saw the absolute breaking of Charlotte's heart as it made room for a whole new person. The curiosity, the anxiety, and the hint depression that would only rear its ugly head more as time went on. The video ended and both the androids and humans gave light applause.

 

Despite his best efforts, it was impossible for Connor to ignore the bitter feeling. The video was a tiny look into what was otherwise a horrible union. Their divorce was finalized by the time Cole was two. It was hard to tell what exactly had happened to the happy couple crying over their newborn son but Connor knew it scarred Hank. He couldn't even begin to imagine the screaming matches and sleepless nights along with the added pressure of a baby. He wished he could have been there so badly.

 

Eventually the slideshow changed from Hank's times with Charlotte to his most recent years. A snippet of him teaching Cole his ABCs, a candid picture of him with Fowler laughing at a bar and finally a picture of him with Connor. It was obvious Cole had taken it because the camera was slightly blurry and his thumb was in the corner, but it was just as meaningful. They had gone as a trio to get professional pictures together but the store closed due to weather. So as they ran back home in the rain, dress clothes soaked through and hands joined as not to get separated, Cole snapped the picture from Hank's phone. Connor couldn't decide if it was presumptuous or not to notice it was the happiest Hank looked on camera in a long time. More pictures of them all smiling during a vacation and a candid shot of Hank nuzzled into Connor's shoulder. It was something like love.

 

Connor swallowed the seed of despair he felt about that fact and straightened his posture. The slideshow ended on a finite note and the priest looked speechless, like he he knew whatever else he had to say couldn't top the video. Cole looked at his mother’s intense gaze and shifted uncomfortably. He didn't settle until Connor moved to go take his place at the podium. When the church turned to look at him, Charlotte stood up abruptly first. The silence was deafening.

 

Cole made grabby hands at her, as if begging her to sit, but she was already walking. Kara rose uneasily and came to sit next to Cole. Luther held Alice close from where he was and Markus stood too. It was like everyone was preparing for a showdown. Connor just stopped and watched her uneven gait toward the podium. Charlotte huffed, snatched the mic and began.

 

“I know Hank had his ‘feelings' towards men but this”, Charlotte said with a wide gesture to Connor. “This is ridiculous.” She strided over to the casket each high heeled step clicking louder than the last. She looked at the casket, then to the audience of humans and androids watching with bated breath. For a moment her eyes looked positively sad before she let out a bitter laugh. “You mean to tell me you'd rather fuck a doll than your own wife?”

 

Markus came forward immediately, angrier than Connor had ever seen him. “You're out of line!” His fists were clenched and his eyes were burning steady. “This is a funeral. You have no right to make a scene.” Everyone was looking back and forth between Markus, Charlotte and Connor. The priest heaved a deep sigh like he had expected as much and leaned back in his pew to watch them argue. Connor just closed his eyes, waiting for the next verbal blow.

 

“Oh? The great deviant leader is going to tell me I'm out of line? You stepped out of line the minute you thought you were anything more than a maid”, Charlotte yelled, tipping over toward Markus. She was swaying so much that it hit Connor that she was probably drunk. He also did a quick scan of her gestures and deduced that she wanted acting combative. Cole curled up in the pew and started heaving. He was crying. Finally, for the first time since everything changed, he was crying.

 

Something about seeing Cole sitting there, so vulnerable while he openly sobbed hit Connor somewhere deep in his programing. His feet were moving before he could register what was happening and he was across the church in a single moment, pulling Cole into a tight hug. All of his emotions poured out like a flood. Every program in his system was screaming at him to stop, including the ones he implemented himself, but it was too late. Connor was crying too. Charlotte looked on with disgust.

 

“You can get up here and pretend to cry like a real person all day but you'll never be able to understand love. He loved me and he loved our kid. Hank never loved you because you're nothing but a glorified vibrator. You've had Cole for this long because I haven't had time to sue your ass for custody yet.” Charlotte took a moment to look at everyone in the audience. “I'm sure the courts will be real willing to listen to a vacuum cleaner playing house than the actual mother of his child.”

 

With that, she was gone.

 

Father Paul got up from the pews and came to the front. “I'd say now is a good time for for everyone to leave, if that's okay?” There was an awkward pause before the guests started to file out. Cole held onto Connor tighter, like he would never let go until everyone except Kara's family and Markus were the only ones left. Through his tears Cole asked quietly, “Why did daddy have to die? Why does mommy want to take me?” Every system in Connor's body was reacting in confusion and sensation like he was going deviant all over again. He caught his breath and tilted Cole's face up to look at him. His eyes were so desperate. “I don't know baby, but I won't let anything bad happen to us.”

 

A little ding popped up in the corner of Connor's vision. Markus was sending him a nonverbal message. He wanted to talk alone. Connor returned accepted the message and squeezed Cole. “I'm going to go talk with Markus to make everything stays okay, okay?” With teary eyes, Cole nodded and Alice took Connor's place in the seat next to him. Connor watched them hug as he stepped aside with Markus. They went into a little room next to the main hall away from prying eyes.

 

As soon as they were alone, Markus clenched his fist in frustration. “Cole's mother is so- insufferable. It’s not just that she discriminates against us, it’s that she has the nerve to act like this around you two. Hank's family, for God's sake.” He sat down in an empty chair and heaved deep sigh. “This is the capital city of android rights. If she hated us so much, she should have left in the initial scramble.” Connor nodded along. He couldn't help but think of all the houses left behind, more board than brick. How all the humans who didn't agree with the android movement just left the city, making it an almost entirely android area. It was peaceful, but as if on bated breath, like the state would send troops in any day to apprehend them.

 

“If she wants custody of Cole, she'll get it fast”, Connor blurted out to break the silence and voice his anxiety. Markus didn't look up or speak so Connor continued. “I knew it was a possibility but I never thought she would try so hard. She never seemed to care about raising him much until...” They met eyes. Markus softened his voice, calm and even. “You don't have to say it.” That voice was usually enough to calm anyone down, but all it did for Connor was bring up the well of anxiety behind his cracking wall of apathy.

 

“Not until Hank died.”

 

Markus shook his head and placed a hand. “You know I've been through hell getting us to where we are now and I'd willingly go through it again to help your family.” Connor looked over to see white hot determination burning in Markus' eyes. He looked like he was ready to start another revolution, even if just for one person. Once he set his mind to something, there was no stopping him. For the first time in a long time, Connor felt little seeds of hope start to sow despite the fear that they would go unreaped.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for your patience ya'll. Sorry for any grammer mistakes. I proofread this bad boy while I was on a 15 hour trip so yknow.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope to continue so make sure to comment if you actually liked it :)


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